Strategies

to Defeat

Makes people get stuck on their ideas. 

• Wants others to do what he wants
• Doesn't allow for negotiation
• Repeatedly tries solutions that don't work
• Causes someone to be rule-bound or rigid
• Only sees one solution to a problem

• Notice that what you are doing is not working
• Try to solve the problem another way
• Take a deep breath
• Remember that being part of a group means that you can't always do things your way
• Self talk: "Not a problem.  I will get to do this later or another time."

Makes people move their body away from the group.

• Gets people to wander away from others
• Causes people to leave the group they are in
• Causes a person to turn their body away from the group, not realizing the message it sends to others

• Use your eyes to think about where your group is
• Use your eyes to think about who is talking to you
• Point your shoulders to the group
• Self talk: "Where should my body be?"

Energy Hare-y

Gives people too much energy.

• Makes the person fidgety
• Makes a person move without thinking about what others around him need or feel about him
• Sometimes pairs up with Wasfunnyonce

• Use whole body listening (keep your whole body quiet)
• Try to match the body behaviors of the rest of the group
• Take a few deep breaths to calm your body

Makes people have HUGE reactions.

• Causes a person to get upset very quickly
• Causes a person to get very upset over tiny problems (Difficulty matching size of reaction to size of problem)
• Makes a person think things are usually unfair

• Identify the size of the problem on a 1-10 scale
• Try to find the expected reaction to match the size of the problem
• Self talk: "I am starting to get mad.  I need to move away and take a breath or tighten all the muscles in my body and then relax them."

Puts people in grumpy moods.

• Makes the person think the worst - always sees the negative or bad in things
• Causes the person to think that others are always unkind, even if others are trying to be nice
• Causes the person not to understand how their emotions spread and make others unhappy

• Think about how the other person is treating you
• Try to judge whether others are being friendly or mean
• Self talk: "I am being negative.  What could be a positive way to think about this?"

Mean Jean

Gets people to act mean and bossy.

• Causes a person to insult or criticize others.
• Causes a person to take things away from others
• Causes a person to try to move the attention away from others and onto themself

• Think about what you are going to say or do before you say or do it.
• Keep bragging, bossy, or hurtful thoughts in your own brain.
• Self talk: "Will this hurt someone's feelings?"

Gets people to only talk about themselves.

• Causes a person to only talk about their own set of topics, plans, or interests.
• Causes a person to interrupt others while they are talking

• Think about what you know about other people.
• Ask questions to find out more about other people's experiences, interests, or plans.
• Use your eyes to figure out the other person's plan.  If they look busy, save your question or statement for another time.
• Look for clues that others are not interested:
  • looking away
  • bored look
  • trying to change the topic

Gets people to invade other's personal space.

• Will move into another person's space when they do not expect or want it. 
• Does not realize how uncomfortable it makes others feel.

• Use the one-arm rule to determine if you are too close to someone.
• Look at other people's faces.  How are they feeling about your closeness?
• If you are making others uncomfortable, move your body away from them.

Makes people jump off topic.

• Gets a person to twist the topic around to what he/she wants to talk about.
• Causes a person to go off on tangents, going on and on about a topic not realizing that others are not interested.

• Check-in with those around you. Does it look like they are interested in what you are saying?
• Ask questions about what others want to talk about. 

Keeps people from thinking about others.

• Stops a person from showing interest in others or thinking about what they want to do
• Keeps a person from asking questions about others or contributing their own ideas to an activity

• Look at the person who is talking to let them know that you are thinking about them and what they are saying.
• Remember the wh-questions (who, what, where, when, & why) and use them to find out more about other's interests or plans
• Create mental files of the things you know about certain people

Gets people to use humor at the wrong times.

• Causes a person to use a lot of humor without realizing that it wears out quickly or sometimes isn't even funny at all.
• Causes a person to have difficulty recognizing appropriate times for humor.
• Causes a person to use laughter inappropriately

• Use the one-time rule: Only say the word or joke once.
• Look around to see if others are laughing too.
• Look at the faces of others.  Are you making them uncomfortable?
• Self talk: "Is now a silly moment or a serious moment?"

Worry Wall

Makes people worry too much.

• Makes a person worry or feel so nervous that they can't participate in an activity or be part of the group.

• Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.  Continue to do this until your body feels relaxed.
• Find a thought that can change how you are feeling or help you solve the problem.

Brain Eater

Distracts people.

• Makes it hard for a person to focus on what is going on.
• Causes a person to get distracted with their own thoughts or the things around them.

• Turn your body and eyes away from what is distracting you.
• Think about the person talking
• Try to notice when your brain is thinking about something else and get it to refocus on the group.

D.O.F.

Destroyer of Fun

Makes people too competitive.

• Causes someone to insist on going first.
• Makes people only play what they want to play.
• Causes people to refuse to compromise or think about how others feel.
• Makes a person bend the rules to influence the outcome of a game.
• Causes someone to take the fun out of playing with them.

• Look at the faces of the other people playing. Are they having fun? Will they want to play with me again?
• Gauge the size of your discomfort.  If it is a tiny problem, you will still get a turn or might win another time.